The Grand Essentials Of Happiness

Funny Acronyms Used By Medical Professionals:

ADR - Ain’t Doing Right
AQR - Ain’t Quite Right
ART - Assuming Room Temperature (dead)
Baby catcher – obstetrician
Banana - patient with jaundice
Betty - a patient with diabetes
Blinky the Fish – radiologist
Blown Mind - gunshot wound to the head
Boneheads – orthopaedics
Box - to die
Bug Juice – antibiotics
Burger - sunburned patient with ruptured blisters
Code Pink (Triangle) - a likely homosexual (used back when HIV/Aids tests took a while to come back)
CRAFT - Can’t Remember A F*cking Thing
CRT - Can’t Really Treat
DTMA - Don’t Transfer to Me Again
DUB - Damn Ugly Baby
Eternal Care - Intensive Care (for a patient who won’t come out again)
Finger Wave - rectal exam
GDA - Gonna die anyway
Gone Camping - patient in oxygen tent
GPO - Good for Parts Only
Guessing tubes – stethoscope
JIC - Jesus is calling
Lobster - sunburned patient
Map of Antarctica - (NZ) appearance of fatal spontaneous brain haemorrhage on CT scan
NGMI - Not Going to Make It
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
Vitamin M – Morphine
KMA = Kiss My Ass
CRS= Can’t Remember Crap
PIA= Pain In the Ass
PYN= Plug Your Nose
FLK= Funny Looking Kid

Veterinary Acronyms
CSTO - Cat Smarter Than Owner
HBO – hit by owner
PU - paws up (dead)