The Grand Essentials Of Happiness

Tips on Building Self Confidence

~ The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going. ~

How you perceive yourself impacts on how others perceive you. If you are more confident in your potentials and skills, others will trust your ability. If you start to doubt your own knowledge and skills, no body will believe in you.

If you cannot believe your own strength, then who is going to have faith in you? You can consciously change how you perceive yourself and build self confidence drastically by focusing on your needs.

Here are few tips on how to build your self confidence and change the way people lookat you.

• Dress appropriately and nicely: it changes how you feel about yourself. When you look attractive and clean you feel more confident and people start to approach you. It does not mean that you need to wear brand name clothes or revealing garments.

• Maintain a good posture. Sit straight and walk straight. When you start practicing good posture, you start to feel more confident. Maintain eye contact when you talk to somebody. That shows that you are more confident in what you are talking about and shows that you are actively listening.

• Walk faster than others. You can examine a person who you know is more confident by paying close attention to how h/she walks. People who are confident walk faster.

• Practice talking to a group of people when you a have chance or pretend that you are talking in front of a bunch of audience. When you start to visualize, your fears goes away. Brain does not really recognize the difference between the reality and imagination, if you vividly visualize things.

• Pay close attention to what you have, instead of what you do not have. Dwell upon the things that you have accomplished. Do not put so much time on worrying about things that you did not achieve.

• Compliment people you admire such as your role models; not just their look, but on how they tackled a situation or a problem. When you start to praise others; you can start to feel better about yourself, and accept your success. Do not criticize others. When you use sarcastic words in your conversation, others can easily judge your personality. It is obvious that you are using a protective mechanism to hide your own weakness.

• If you are student, try to sit in the front row. As you have probably seen, people who are more confident and want to learn sit in the front row. If you are a person who is reluctant to sit in the front row, you are afraid of being noticed. So you decide where you want to sit. Hide? Or show your confidence level?

• Maintain your weight and practice healthy lifestyle. If you are not very happy with how you look, you may have lack of self-confidence. You may feel shy talking to a group of people or being noticed. So do more exercise and eat healthy.

~ With confidence, you can reach truly amazing heights; without confidence, even the simplest accomplishments are beyond your grasp ~

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Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires

The mind is the decisive factor in your life, but who decides for the mind??? ~ Remez Sasson

Have you heard of Energy Vampires? Have you ever felt so drained and exhausted after talking to a friend or a relative? Have you ever felt that you don’t have energy to pursue a goal that you have created after talking to someone? If you do, then you have to be aware of the fact that those friends or relatives are so called energy vampires.

They simply drain your positive energy for their own need and leave you with negative thoughts and feeling. Like real vampires who suck blood from a living body, these people drain your spirit by taking away your positivism.

Most of them do it without knowing. They intrude your life and doesn’t really pay attention with boundaries; they constantly complain about something like very very small things; make a big deal out of small things like someone wearing a same dress as them etc; always complain about school, jobs, partners, friends, bad luck and illness; they criticize you or others’ hair, friends, partners, jobs, and appearance (without thinking about their own appearance); and they manipulate you to obtain something that they need (for instance, if there is a sale somewhere, they will drag you there and get the buy one and get the second one free deal, so they can get something that they want with a cheap price, although you don’t really need that product, you end up paying for it)

They blame others for their problem- doesn’t like to take responsibility. They always show off, if they buy or wear a brand name clothes, they will point that out in their conversation; sometimes makes you think that people who don’t buy brand name products are the losers.

Just remember they are always always negative ….complain complain!! At the same time also drain your energy by showing off. They are energy vampires and they need positive energy; they need other’s approval; they pretend to be a nice just to get the attention (drama queens).

They come in all shapes and characteristics; they could be loud, funny, aggressive, quiet, charming, and pushy. If you have a friend or a relative, it is very challenging for you to be who you are. Even when you try telling other people about these energy vampires, they wouldn’t believe you, because these people are manipulative; they get the nice name from strangers all the time.

So now you understand who those people are, so try to protect yourself from them. Learn to stop them from taking your energy.

• Try to end the conversations as soon as possible; tell them that you don’t have time to talk at this moment.
• Try to limit the amount of time that you spend with these energy vampires at school or work. When you spend less time, the less positive energy you will lose.
• Don’t explicitly show your anger towards them; they will criticize you and call you moody type or mood swinger, not knowing that they are making you in that way. So stay clam and avoid interacting with them as you can.
• Don’t try to fix their problem or try to rescue them when they complain, just avoid their words; don’t take it seriously; that is their habit-putting you down.
• Avoid being closer to them; avoid going to lunch with them; avoid long trips with them; even when you go out with other friends including the energy vampires, they will get to you; start having a interesting conversation with others; try to completely aviod talking to these people if you want to protect yourself.
• Learn to walk away from energy vampires; after awhile you can see the difference in your life.
• Try to guard your own personal space from them and that is your right.
• They are manipulative, so try to get your personal stories by pretending that they are interested in your well being; so tell them that you are not comfortable sharing your stories; be cautious with them because they will reveal your secrets to others.
• Be very assertive and protect your boundaries, and your positive energy and the precious time.

Positive and negative are two directions. Which direction do you want to choose?

A positive attitude brings strength, energy and initiative. ~ Remez Sasson

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Ways Of Obtaining Real Inner Joy

Although materialism brings the immediate happiness, the real happiness should only be felt by being in love and be loved. Does spirituality bring you real happiness? When someone is enlightened spiritually that means that h/she is spiritually awakened as a result of persistence happiness. This type of happiness is aka JOY which is a steady state of happiness that one feels despite of any unfortunate events occurs in real life.

The whole purpose of us being in this world is to be happy but why aren’t we all happy? Is happiness hard to get or are you following a wrong path to gain happiness? Can we be happy with what we already possess? If we do then we wouldn’t fight for things that we desire. We compete for food, education, money, fame, love, and relationships. If we are fighting for something to gain happiness, so then we do really know what makes us happy. Right? But after achieving what you wanted, your joy of success doesn’t stay for long. You start to look for something else that can make you happy.

Some men say if I get this girl that I love I will be the happiest person in the whole world. Is it really true? Certainly not. There are other problems come along after getting what to crave for. You may start to fight with the person you love or start cursing the things that you have gained when it brings you some sort of pain. So the conclusion is that nothing can makes you in this world unless you decided draw the joy within.

Most of us will question that so how the happy person looks like in real world, so they can compare themselves. Well, happy person is an optimist, devote his time to help others in need, spend happy time with family and friends, appreciate small things that he gains, live the present moment with full of joy, feel abundant in many ways (love, money, and relationships), healthy and strong, cope well with challenge, and follow his dreams consistently with no doubts.

Why do we need to be happy? Because happy people have secure and happy relationships with no conflicts, enjoy their life ten times greater than the unhappy person, more productive in their career, more abundant in all aspects including money, physically active and good in health, and live longer lives.

Here are few steps that you can apply in your daily lives in order for you to feel happy and fulfilled.

• Be kind and patient with yourself.
• Know your own potential and be confident
• Be positive and don’t let you mind wander towards negativity. Affirmation: I’m going to be happy all day starting from today, no matter what kind of challenges that I encounter.
• Express gratitude every day in small things that you do or possess. Start writing your thoughts and actions on a journal. Write things that you are a grateful for (I have a wonderful person in life or book etc.)
• Try to smile all day even if you are not happy. When you smile, ‘happy’ part of the brain will be stimulated and you can change your mood so quickly.
• Finally, stop comparing yourself or your situations with others. You are only looking at few great characteristics that he possesses. Believe me; you don’t want to be exactly like him. You and I know that you possess things that he doesn’t have, and there are people who want to be like you.

~ Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind. ~ Alice Meynell

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Successful Marriage

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”

~ Mignon McLaughlin

My second brother and I went in person to invite one of our relatives to his wedding. We printed more than 300 cards and took few of them everyday to deliver it to our relatives. It’s one of our traditional thing and we still follow it. We don’t prefer mailing the invitation card because people take that as an insult; they might call us and say that we didn’t respect them and didn’t care enough to pay a visit. The relative who we went to invite had an arrange marriage and have 2 children. His is name is Wil and his wife is not that pretty. I shouldn’t talk about appearance, but most of the people look for good looks when it comes to marriage.

It is very hard to find happy couples in our culture; even if it’s a love marriage. Doesn’t really matter what kind of marriage they had, couples start to fight right after they have children for their own. After seeing many failure marriages to others, I didn’t really believe in that sort of stuff. All the houses we went, people didn’t get excited about marriage due to their own failures, at least that’s what I think. But Wil seems to be happy for my brother. He started to talk about his marriage life. I didn’t pay attention to his words at the beginning, but after a while I was dragged into his uplifting speech about marriage. He started to share his secret of his successful marriage. He said “How things look on the outside of us depends on how things are on the inside of us.” Believe it or not our culture is double standard and always towards male domination. But Wil seems to be very forward in his thinking. He said that he never fight with his wife. Whenever they get into arguments even if they like it or not, he just stop talking and listen to his wife on what she is saying. He steps back and looks at the situation in other person’s perspective. When one of them stops and listen the other stop arguing and pay close attention to the underlying problem rather than clouded by the emotional breakouts.

When the problem is bigger, he takes his wife to a fancy romantic dinner and slowly reveals what it is that’s bothering him. In our culture, men or women don’t like to talk out loud in public. Without raising their voice they find solutions to the problem. According to him, clear communication is the tool for a successful marriage. Men say something and women understand it differently and vice versa. Since my brother or I didn’t have any experience about love or marriage that time. It was very useful to my brother on his upcoming marriage. I told him to pass the wisdom of marriage to future generations as well. No body in our culture goes to marriage counseling, they either fight everyday without getting divorce or one manages to sing along with another. Divorce is a cruel word to us, so they try to change their habits and behaviour to satisfy the partner.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half sorrow. Sharing your life with someone who cares the most about you is a gift. Every couple should know how to solve the conflicts without arguments.

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” ~ Aristotle

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The National Gallery Of Canada

Are you wondering where you should take your kids or your spouse? Is there any place that can help you learn new things and entertaining at the same time?

Well, I think it is better to take your loved ones to Galleries located in each city. You not only can learn the culture of that city, but also can enhance your intellect.

The NGC is located in Ottawa downtown. It is not that difficult to find the location. But it will be better, if you park your car and walk around the city than driving on the crowded one way streets.

NGC is located at 380 Promenade Sussex Street; and you can see a gigantic spider with eggs, outside the gallery. The National Gallery of Canada is one of the world’s well known and respected art institutions.

It was created in 1880 and has a great collection of works of art, both contemporary and historic. Shop at NGC has expanded collection of books and gift items that represent Canadian history.

Here are few of the exhibitions in 2008:

• Snap Judgments: New Positions in Contemporary African Photography
• Richard Hamilton Reflects: Prints 1963-1974
• Pascal Grandmaison
• On Reading: Photography and the Book
• A Selection of Photographs from the National Gallery of Canada
• British Drawings: New Acquisitions
• “Non Clamor Sed Amor”: The Toronto Art Students’ League Calendars
• Made in Kangiqliniq: Ceramics and Sculpture from Rankin Inlet
• Joe Fafard
• Lord Dalhousie: Patron and Collector
• Honouring Norval Morrisseau (1932-2007)
• Governor General’s Awards in Visual and Media Arts
• Dots, Pulses and Loops
• In the Shadow of the Midnight Sun: Sámi and Inuit Art 2000–2005

For More information visit: http://www.gallery.ca/english/index.html
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Channel Your Anger

~For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.~

It is difficult to keep yourself calm when you are angry. Appropriate amount of anger is healthy and considered to be normal. But when it exceeds its limit, you may need to face many dangerous consequences. If you are one of the individuals who cannot control your anger, you have to find a way to channel your rage into a constructive and socially acceptable way.

Some people fear of upsetting others or themselves by expressing their anger, and they end up bottling up their rage. Some people take it out on their loved ones or on others when they shouldn’t. Both types are not healthy.

When you let your anger to bottle up, you might explode one day and you might be seen as a cruel individual to others’ eyes. Here are few steps that you can follow to channel your anger into a healthy way.

Some people talk to themselves out loud about that situation or about the person who made them mad to understand the reason for their anger. Although it isn’t such a bad idea than fighting, but these people might develop this as one their habits. When they do that in public, they may appear as unstable.

The better way is to write down the situation on a piece of paper to rationalize your anger. When you start writing the reason, the brain starts to process the information and this actually can help you relax your mood. You can make a good decision while you are relaxed, and you would know what to do to alleviate the situation without hurting others.

Sometimes doing a physical exercise can help you relax and release the tension in you. Don’t bottle up the rage; it is more dangerous. You can do intense physical activities such as kick boxing or other sports. Some people mediate, or do aerobic exercises to keep them loosen up.

If you are person who eats to comfort yourselves, you can do so in a healthy way by eating low calorie healthy food; don’t eat junk food. You could eat fruits and yogurts than chocolate and ice cream.

Sometimes charity works also help you forget the anger when you start to see yourselves as a fortunate one. You start to forget your own problem and channel your thoughts and actions into a positive way.

If you are one of those people who need external help to deal with the anger, it is a good idea to go for counseling. They can provide specific information for you to vent your rage.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. ~Will Rogers

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Lake Ontario in Hamilton

Joy is one of nature’s greatest medicines. Joy is always healthy. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal. ~ Catherine Ponder

Hamilton, Ontario is located at the west end of the Niagara Peninsula and the Lake Ontario wraps around most part of the Hamilton. One of the easiest access points for the lake is located at Longwood Road North, Hamilton. I usually go with my friend during the lazy evening times. We walk on those trials until we get tired; then we set on one of the wooden benches and talk for hours and hours. Sometimes, we don’t even say a word when we are absorbed by the wonders of the nature. Looking at the sunset while feeling the blowing breeze on the skin is an unexplainable delight. This can only be felt by being there at the moment and there are no words to describe the feeling of inner joy that can be gained from the quiet evening.

If it’s chilly outside, we buy coffee at the closest Tim Hortons and take it to the lake point. We sit and drink until the last sip of that Steep Tea double: double is done. While kids play with their pets, skate boards, frisbees and rollerblades, parents sit there and listen to the birds’ chirping. Trails are filled with the ancient maples and oak. Lake is filled with geese and goslings. I am very lucky to live close to this lake and spending every great evening at the lake was a gift.

I’m sure that you can also find a spot close to home where you can spend your evenings peacefully and quietly. Going out in the evenings after work for few minutes or hours to places that you enjoy the most is very important activity in life. Bring that into a habit and start spending every single day joyfully because at the end you are born to collect nice memories not just money.

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Funny Acronyms Used By Medical Professionals:

ADR - Ain’t Doing Right
AQR - Ain’t Quite Right
ART - Assuming Room Temperature (dead)
Baby catcher – obstetrician
Banana - patient with jaundice
Betty - a patient with diabetes
Blinky the Fish – radiologist
Blown Mind - gunshot wound to the head
Boneheads – orthopaedics
Box - to die
Bug Juice – antibiotics
Burger - sunburned patient with ruptured blisters
Code Pink (Triangle) - a likely homosexual (used back when HIV/Aids tests took a while to come back)
CRAFT - Can’t Remember A F*cking Thing
CRT - Can’t Really Treat
DTMA - Don’t Transfer to Me Again
DUB - Damn Ugly Baby
Eternal Care - Intensive Care (for a patient who won’t come out again)
Finger Wave - rectal exam
GDA - Gonna die anyway
Gone Camping - patient in oxygen tent
GPO - Good for Parts Only
Guessing tubes – stethoscope
JIC - Jesus is calling
Lobster - sunburned patient
Map of Antarctica - (NZ) appearance of fatal spontaneous brain haemorrhage on CT scan
NGMI - Not Going to Make It
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
Vitamin M – Morphine
KMA = Kiss My Ass
CRS= Can’t Remember Crap
PIA= Pain In the Ass
PYN= Plug Your Nose
FLK= Funny Looking Kid

Veterinary Acronyms
CSTO - Cat Smarter Than Owner
HBO – hit by owner
PU - paws up (dead)

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Fill Your Love Tank

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Love is the most important thing in life and it is the most important word in any language. Everything talks about love. Thousands of magazines, movies, songs, book of literature and philosophy; we see the importance of love everywhere. Falling in love is a primary psychological need. Everyone crave for attention; everyone wants someone to love them and care for them. But few of us are lucky to find love in the fast moving world.

Each of us expresses our love to someone in different ways. We can do anything for love. For love, we can climb a mountain, cross an ocean, can lift up a car, and can fall from sky. When there is no love in life, mountains become unapproachable and an ocean becomes un-crossable.

A man without love becomes an empty vessel waiting to be filled. Learning to love each other is crucial for happiness. Isolating someone from others is devastating to the human psyche. That’s why marriage has been designed to meet that need for intimacy and love. That is why ancient people refer husband and wife as “one flesh”.

Try to find long-term relationships when the time is right. You won’t regret it.

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out. ~ by Elizabeth Bowen

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In a Child’s Head

Children make you want to start life over. ~Muhammad Ali

I went to visit my brother and his family on one of those winter days. Since I couldn’t take my nephews outside due to the snow storm, I ended up spending my time on watching Cars (2006) cartoon movie with my nephew who is only 2 ½ years old.

In one of the scenes the hot shot talking race car named “Lightning McQueen” fell into mud and mud went into his mouth. My 2 ½ old nephew was so absorbed by the movie and he took part as one of the cartoon characters in the movie. He started to spit all over the living room thinking that mud went into his own mouth. Oh god… I should have video taped that scene to show it to his parents.

He is a funny kid. I couldn’t control my laughter. Only when the car comes out of the mud, he stopped spitting.

Children are fun to hang around with. They always do something that reminds us that they are still kids. By watching them to do whatever they do, give us the joy.

Keep laughing. Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. Always keep your mind worry free.

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